Here's an open letter to a treasure of a girl!
That's me!
Whose behavior on this show always makes me hurl!
What?!
She's a nasty, fake blonde schemer, who calls herself your host!
Without the help of her entourage, her job would be toast!
Hey!
Hey! Heeeyyy.....
She'll tell you that she loves your shirt, but it's something she can't stand!
She's just so full of you-know-what, she has to double-flush the can!
Hey!
I eat a lot of fiber!
She bought two pairs of the same jeans, one size four, and one size eight!
So when she wears the bigger ones, you'll ask if she's lost weight!
Hey!
She's not the gal you think she is, so let me tell you, plainly.
There's thick black hair between her toes, and her real name isn't Blaineley!
Hey!
She's a phony, scheming, weasel-nose!
And her real name isn't Blaineley!
She steals and lies, but she's evil, bros, and her real name isn't Blaineley!
It's Mildred!
Hey!